For the past few weeks I have been thinking on different topics to write my next post on. But somehow, I could not decide on any one. From thoughts of me sitting in the Walk-in refrigerator of the hotel I work in to the feelings passing through me as I explore new relationships and places in a country so culturally and structurally different from the one I grew up in.
But every time I start writing, I end too many sentences short of a publishable post. It seems as days progress, there are much too many changes cropping up in me that I am lost to myself too. Few days I pass time doing nothing but watching movies. Other days I have such deep thoughts that I am startled whenever someone says my name.
Just the other day, I was thinking of how lucky I was to have this life. On my paternal side, my grandfather was one of the Village Leaders and one of the first few to step out of the village. My dad studied in a college situated 11 kms from my village and joined the Indian Navy to roam all over India and take his parents with them. Today, I have the great opportunity of showing my parents not just India but the world. By planning my future (and executing that plan!) properly, I could show them all the other places outside India that they couldn't see by themselves. It really feels awesome every time I think of it.
On the other hand, my maternal side hasn't done anything less. With my maternal grandpa being a spiritual teacher and his younger brother being one of the Village leaders in their village, even they have passed on the qualities associated with leadership to me. Also, them being spiritually enlightened, they shaped much of my character with their principles which impressed me to no end. They together with my mom, who complemented their absence when we were not in Hyderabad, made sure that my instinct has been hardwired to select the right from wrong and also sparked so much interest in spirituality that I have an urge to turn in the direction of kirthans and bhajans whenever I get a chance.
So from one side, I have qualities that urge me to be so different from others around me so as to get easily noticed. Qualities that help me lead any team without difficulty or hesitation. From the other side, I have qualities that make me feel humbled before god and ingrain goodness so deep that it is nearly impossible for me to turn bad without corrupting myself completely. One side teaches me to be impulsive and trust intuition. The other teaches me to be philosophical and respect others. So many qualities that make me a character so damn impossible that many call me inhuman.
All these aside, I still remember the time I was struggling to come to the US. I had never thought of it that way until recently, but I was being loved by so many people, it seems nigh on impossible. So many people prayed to the Lord Almighty wishing my dream to come true. My mother and I, used to chant the Mruthyunjay Manthra all the time in the hopes of appeasing the Almighty. Many sisters in college who loved me as their brother so much. One of my sisters actually went to Tirupathi and delivered my wish to Lord Balaji personally. A few other juniors went to Chilkur Temple and completed 108 rounds twice just for my sake. Facebook buddies, whom I never met till now, also prayed for me. Particularly one, Teju Nithi needs special mention, because she went to Shirdi and prayed for me. A few classmates like Hemanth, Sruthi, Manoj, Raghunandhan, Swetha, etc., who also prayed for me. Anusha and Alekhya actually helping me with the process and so many other friends who supported me all through my ordeal. With so much love pouring from everywhere and so many people wishing for me to get out and live my dream, God must have been really pressurized and relented to these prayers no matter what my fate was. When I think of all this, I feel I might be one of the most loved person in this world. I feel I am on top of the world already.
I know I think a lot. It was clearly proved to me in my dreams. Since coming to the US, I have dreamt at least five times about coming to India. But every time I come to understand its a dream. Reason: I do not remember what I did in the 30 hours flight to India. (Remember the movie "Inception"?)
So every time in the dream I am about to contact my friends, I start thinking of how I came to be in India and the flight. Since, I do not remember anything, I know that I am dreaming. Yeah! It's confusing! That's the reason I said I think a lot.
Don't worry guys, I shall be back with the next part of "She's Mine" very soon. As for my thoughts, I wish I could get a penny for every thought I had. Would be a millionaire by now!!!
Just wanted to tell you all that I love you people... And miss each and every one of you sorely....
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